An Ordinary night at Torchwood
by xxXGGXxx
Summary: A story for Vixx, who seems a little down at the moment. Basically the story of what would happen if a fangirl found the invisible lift at the hub. Rating K because for once Jack says no innuendos! It's a miracle.
1. Chapter 1

An Ordinary night at Torchwood

A/n: I cannot believe this is going to be my first fan fiction, but oh well. This story is dedicated to my Vixx, who you can probably guess is a huge Torchwood fan.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Torchwood crew, or Vixx, no matter how many times I make her take my stuff for me, or treat her like a slave.

It was a normal day inside the Torchwood hub- well, as normal as it ever is there- the Pterodactyl was flying around aimlessly, the humans were eating pizza and the weevils were chilling in the prison when it happened. Suddenly out of the middle of nowhere the sound of swearing followed by a loud "OW" rang across the hub. Immediately the crew reached for their guns and went in search of the disturbance, going off in pairs- Jack and Ianto, Owen and Tosh and Gwen and Myfawny (a/n: I don't know anyone else in Torchwood, just go with it). Of course, it had to be Jack and Ianto who found it, and neither were the same ever again.

"Oh My God I'm actually in the Torchwood hub this is a dream come true I knew I'd find you here if I searched for the invisible lift my friends thought I was mad looking for Jack on Google Earth but I'm here now and… Janto!" The tiny girl screamed (an amazing feat as she hadn't breathed in all that time), the amount of noise disproportionate to her size.

"I love you both are you two dating please tell me you are," she said, now doing a fangirl dance "You are amaz-" She was interrupted, quite rudely in fact, by Ianto showing off his new stun gun, her blonde and ginger streaked hair splaying out on the floor.

"What do we do now… Retcon?" Ianto asked.

"Nah, let's take her home, I mean it's not like anyone will believe her" Jack replied, an evil smirk appearing on his ridiculously perfect face.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys, so Vixx was asking at school for another chapter so here it is. This will probably be the final chapter, but if I get more inspiration then I may add more. Also sorry if this is a bit rubbish (had to think of a non explicit word then) but I am currently dying of an allergic reaction due to the lack of piriton in my house.**

**Also a HUGE thank you to those who reviewed, you are amazing and brightened my day to no end XD.**

The Next Day

It was a beautiful day at a certain Girls Grammar School (**A/N:I don't want any stalkers so I won't put my schools name- lets just say its in Kent**)- the sun was shining, for once, and the chavs were not yet in, when a small streaky haired ball of energy jumped into the classroom, shocking her friends Pheebs and GG (**A/N: yes that is me**).

"Vixx, what are you so excited about?" Pheebs asked picking up her Harry Potter book and putting it on her desk.

"You'll never guess what happen-" Vixx started but was interrupted by GG

"Vixx, are you still going on about Torchwood0- just accept it, you'll never find them," she told Vixx in a would be understanding voice, but there are only so many times you can hear about Torchwood before you want to kill even your closest friends.

"No honestly I found them, I went to Wales in the half-term and I visited Cardiff and they were there and- what are you to looking at each other like that for?"

"Vixx sweetie, if you had really found the Torchwood hub you would have been Retconed, you wouldn't remember a thing! Just drop it ok?" Pheebs told Vixx in a fake sweet voice as she turned to GG to continue their talk about the best Harry Potter book (**A/N: I think it's the Goblet of Fire because apparently I am weird).**

"I'm telling you it happened!" But her two friends weren't listening "Fine, I'll just have to prove it to you then" she whispered to herself, then began to laugh manically to herself for a few minutes, but everyone was too used to care, until Kat walked it.

"Vixx, _what _are you doing?" she asked

"Laughing like a maniac, want to join in?"

"No I don't, and if this about Torchwood or Doctor Who or that stupid Yu-Gi-Oh then I don't want to get involved ok?" Kat told Vixx firmly as she walked over to GG to talk about snazzy oods.

"It didn't, and I will show you all, just you wait!" She began to laugh again, but this time she was cut short by the girls form tutor walking in. "Shoot, I need to get my stuff out!"

**A/N: So this went quite well, and I got some inspiration during this so I will add another chapter. Just going to say it was really awkward writing about myself in third person. Oh and I will get going on the challenge Pheebs set me and Vixx, I just keep forgetting what I wrote. Also if you are still waiting for the new chapter of the Anti Umbtch Squad, it will be up soon, its just that Vixx lost the authors note and then forgot the words to one of the songs in it, but I will force her to add it soon. Love you all and thank you for reading, and sorry its so short!**

**~GG**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello again my lovelies! So here is another chapter- I'm not exactly sure how many chapters I'm going to write for this- it started off as a oneshot but has kind of mutated into a multi-chaptered monster. A huge thank you to JantoAdommyGlittrKitty18 and Vixxster2492 for reviewing (especially you JantoAdommyGlittrKitty) you make me want to write the best and most I can. Also, thanks for the concern, I'm feeling much better today. On with the story:**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing… well I own some stuff otherwise I would currently be in a pure white cushioned room with nothing in it… or writing this right now.**

"Vixx, however much I like your HUG (**A/N: this will make sense in a minute**), I do not appreciate being kidnapped, forced into your campervan and being taken to CARDIFF and I don't think Pheebs does either!"

"Shut up GG I'm trying to drive this thing- it's much harder than it looks!"

"Well then Vixx, why don't we go home then?" GG asked Vixx in a would be calm voice- Pheebs had been knocked out by Vixx when she wouldn't stop screaming. Vixx couldn't see what the problem was; the old woman got up again eventually.

"No point we're nearly there now… I think," Vixx said in a questioning tone "GG your dad's Welsh, which way do we go?"

"Vixx my dad may be Welsh but I don't have an ingrown GPS system that can get me straight into the country of sheep from anywhere in the world!" GG nearly screamed as she realised just how bizarre the situation was.

"Well you should be able to. I think I know where we're going now, and what have I told you about screaming!"

The rest of the car journey passed with very little happening, apart from Vixx knocking out GG whilst still driving (she can be quite talented at hurting people). Eventually they arrived at Cardiff when Vixx finally figured out how to work the map and accepted that GG was not a GPS system. Bringing GG and Pheebs to she dragged them towards the entrance to the hub.

**A/N: This was going to be longer but I think I'll stop it there. I know it's short but I'll make the next chapter a lot longer to make up for it. Thanks for reading and if you review I will love you forever (unless its flames, then I'll hate you forever!) Anyway, thanks again for reading and I will update soon XD.**

**xxXGGXxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: How organised am I updating everyday for three days? Whoop whoop. Now Pheebs would just like me to mention that she isn't a (insert word that rhymes with witch here) in real life and is actually quite nice… Most of the time. Anyways my beautiful readers, on with the story:**

"Both of you keep quiet, I need to time this perfectl-"

"Vixx, Torchwood doesn't exist, give up!" No one was even pretending to be polite anymore after the punching-people-in-the-face-until-they-were-knocked-out plan took place.

"NEVER, now Jack should be finding the fake trail by now, which means that Ianto should be gone from the receptionist area. GG do you have the pizza box?" GG nodded curtly "Lets go then."

Together the girls crept ninja style into the hubs entrance. The coast was completely devoid of Iantos, Weevils or any other vaguely human thing. Vixx walked forward pulling out her multi-purpose swipe card (don't ask how she got it- lets just say it wasn't entirely legal and involved a plastic spoon, apples and Harry Potter influences). Very slowly Vixx brought the card up to the swiper thing and carefully reached for the button under the desk. She was so close to her dream and-

"Vixx will you hurry up, we don't have all day and we're currently breaking into an official looking… place."

"Sorry, I went into slow motion mode again." Vixx replied as she hit the button revealing a very irate looking Torchwood agent and coffee maker.

"Hi Ianto! Er, I mean hello, we have your pizza." Vixx spoke out as Pheebs and GG went into shock and did their goldfish impersonations.

"Oh ok, just give it here- wait! You're the girl who fell through the invisible lift! How did you get here- hey!" Ianto yelled out as he realised he was talking to an empty room.

"Great, I managed to lose the insane Janto fan… again! How does she keep doing that?"

**A/N: Please don't kill me! I know I promised a longer chapter and I promise that the next one will be much longer because it will have some proper action now and the Torchwood crew will turn up… Great, now I'll have to change the rating. A huge thank you to Torchwood Cardiff and JantoAdommyGlittrKitty18 for reviewing (have I told you how much I love your name?) I will hopefully update tomorrow- maybe I'll write this at lunch. I will update this by the end of the week though XD**

**xxXGGXxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'm back again and this time this chapter has a point! Yay! Now I finally know where I'm going with this story and won't just randomly interrupt myself during the story… apart from the authors notes of course. A huge thank you yet again to Torchwood Cardiff and JantoAddonisGlittrKitty18 (it may be long but it is EPIC) for reviewing, it's like getting a very wordy hug. Now on with the story:**

**Disclaimer: I am not allowed to claim ownership of Torchwood- mainly because I'm only at "They just keep killing Suzie" :S. I should really continue watching them, but I am the best at putting stuff off.**

"Jack, Jack, Jack we have a problem!" Ianto's voice yelled being heard everywhere in the hub.

"What's wrong Ianto, run out of coffee?" Owen called back in his sarcastic tone (**A/N: I love his sarcastic tone!**).

"No, it's worse than that, its-"

"You admitted that something is worse than running out of coffee? I think the world just ended."

"Shut up Owen, I'm trying to tell you that the Jan-"

"Ianto are you alright? What are you yelling about?"

"Well Gwen, as I was trying to tell Owe-"

"What happened, did someone get hur-"

"Ianto, where are you?"

"Jack we're down here! And Tosh, I will explain what happened when everyone gets here, and if someone interrupts me one more time I will take my stun gun and stick it where the sun don't shine."

"I think Jack would quite like that to be honest" Owen whispered to Tosh as Jack finally ran into the room sporting his gun.

"What's going on Ianto, and why were you screaming?"

Ianto took a deep breath before speaking "She's back."

The rest of the Torchwood crew looked at each other.

"Ianto, who's back? There are a lot of people who could be 'back'."

"The girl who fell through the invisible lift, you know, the Janto shipper (**A/N: Ianto obviously reads fanfic**) who we didn't retcon. This is why we have retcon to prevent this from happening. And that's not all- she's brought _friends!_"

There was silence at this until. "She has friends? Well, there is no hope for mankind."

"Did you hear that, he thinks its weird that I have friends! I mean, how dare he!"

"Vixx, you kidnapped us, you bore us constantly with Yu-Gi-Oh stuff and your shoe is a horcrux. I think he has a right to think that!"

"I agree with GG. Now we've seen them, can we go home now? I'm cold and my head hurts."

"No, I want to do something first." Vixx whispered as she crept towards Tosh's computer screens.

"No, no, no, no, no Vixx, what are you doing. If she catches you then she'll kill you!"

"That's why I brought you two, GG you're good with computers and Pheebs, you've read so many spy books you should know how to be a lookout."

"Vixx, I'm the one who's read loads of spy books, not Pheebs." GG whispered as she joined Vixx at the computer bay.

"Just open it up and be-"

"Done!"

"Already?"

"She left it unlocked."

"OK, lets get started then."

Neither of them realised that Pheebs had disappeared from where they had left her.

**A/N: Its actually longer! Yes, I may be able to get into this more now. Another huge thank you to my reviewers and subscribers, you are all awesome, and if you haven't yet, please subscribe and review, just because it makes me happy. XD**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I am so sorry my beautiful fans, I would give you a long winded excuse, but really I am just a procrastinator and couldn't be bothered, and I am really sorry! Anyways, Pheebs has been getting on my back about this so I had better get it up soon or she may kill me.**

**Disclaimer: Do I look like Russel T Davies to you… don't answer that!**

"Put your hands where I can see them and turn around slowly!" A voice called across the silent hub. The stranger slowly removed her hands from the most praise worthy object in the hub.

"Sorry, I just wanted to touch the coffee machine- it's just so magical!" The girl replied as she took in Tosh and the gun being held up to her face.

"You're one of those weirdos who managed to get in here aren't you?"

"No… I'm the new coffee girl!" The girl shot back, trying not to panic.

"Nice try, but we both know that Ianto has that covered. Now what are you doing here?"

"I don't really know- it was all Vixx's idea. All I know is that one second I was at school, the next I was in a campervan called HUG with a throbbing headache because my 'best friend' knocked me out to go and see people from a TV program that are now apparently real and all I wanted to do was go to school like any other day and now I'm in the middle of nowhere-"

"We're in Cardiff"

"Same difference, and I just want to go _home_!" She exclaimed as she slowly started to hyperventilate.

"Ok, ok, I'll take you to see Jack, but first we have to find your friends."

"Vixx, we need to go, they'll be coming soon!" GG whispered to Vixx as she kept a look out.

"Nearly done- YES, just printing it now!"

"_Hurry up_!"

"Ok ok, done, now let's have a look."

"Vixx-"

"Shut up GG"

"But Vixx"

"Now, it seems that there is no alien/strange activities in my local area, but in yours-"

"Vixx-"

"Shut _up, _there are at least ten, and one in the Barracks! Do you know what this means?"

"Vixx-look-behind-you!" GG forced out, looking at a point just above Vixx's shoulder. Vixx turned, to be greeted by the sight of a very angry Owen.

"Hi Owen! You getting with Tosh anytime soon?" She asked cheerfully as he took out a stun gun.

**A/N: Yay, finally done. And by the way guys, I will upload a lot more often because I AM FINALLY ON HOLIDAY! You have no idea how long I have been waiting for this, but now I'm a GCSE student… damn it. A huge thank you to JantoAdommyGlittrKitty18, Torchwood Cardiff, fibbles, Vixxster2492 and GwenHarper97 for following/favouriting/reviewing this fic. I love you all!**

**xxXGGXxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Actual A/N: Right well, I know what you're thinking, but I have been busy, and I have been working on my own original fiction, so please don't shoot me. Anyway, I wrote half of this at Pheebs' house, but the rest I am doing right now very quickly so I can finally get it to you, so I apologize in advance.**

**A/N: Hey guys I'm back and writing this on Pheebs' laptop because she has been bugging me for ages, and now I'm at a sleepover around her house, and if I don't write this soon I'm worried she will murder me in my sleep. Anyways, I may not upload for a bit because I am very busy the next few weeks doing a ballet (I'm stage management- don't worry, I won't blind anyone by doing my horrendous dancing in front of them). But right now I have crisps and a laptop (even though I can barely type with it; sorry about any typos) so I will get on with the story. Also, welcome the new character, who is based on my other friend Gem, who is also on the sleepover. HI GEM! Pheebs, stop looking at me!**

**Disclaimer: Does Russell T Davies and the BBC have a friend called Pheebs who they have a sleepover with? Well they may do, I don't really know much about their private lives, but as the BBC is a building, then I doubt that it is able to hold a sleepover... or talk to anyone.**

"Now I won't do anything as long as you stay-" Owen was cut off from his speech by GG screaming bloody murder.

"Hello sexy." A familiar voice called out as a hand stroked GG's face.

"Gem, now is not the- Gem? What the hell are you doing here?" GG screamed as Owen looked confused (it was quite an achievement on their part).

"Well you know the tracking device I put in Pheebs' phone?"

"What?"

"Yeah, well I (**A/N: Pheebs, STOP TRYING TO READ THE SCREEN!)** followed the GPS on the phone leading me to this… place. Where are we?"

"Right, who are you?" Owen asked, too confused to even be sarcastic.

"I'm Gem, although I want to be called Emma, you know, get rid of the G and add an E!"

"Gem, then you would be called Eemma."

"Oh."

"Right, come with me you three, come with me." At this the three girls burst out laughing.

"What? I don- oh, really? Grow up!"

"Jack! Jack! Jack!"

"Why are you yelling my name? I'm right here." Jack called out from behind Tosh. Pheebs and Tosh span around and looked at him.

"So you are. This is one of that girl's friends, I think her name is Pheebs, and-"

"Jack! Jack! Jack!" A stressed out voice called out.

"What is everyones obsession with my name and yelling it out today?" Jack replied as Owen, Gem and GG appeared. "Wait a second, how many of you are there, do you breed like rabbits or something?"

GG and Gem both looked at each other and replied in unison "no, those are the year sevens." (**A/N: Does anyone else get annoyed with the year sevens? I know I do**).

"Wait, where is the annoying fangirl? No not you three, the other one," Jack told Gem, GG and Vixx as they raised their hands "You know, that Vixx girl."

"Yeah, we never know where Vixx is, have you checked your sleeping area, the coffee machine or the computers, she may be reading fanfiction." GG replied.

"Wait, what the hell is fanfiction?"

"You don't want to know, also, why is she reading fanfiction if we are at the TORCHWOOD HUB? Surely this is better than any fanfiction?" Gem asked

"Who really understands Vixx mind? I know I don't."

"Can we please get back on topic here, we need to know where she is before she does something dangerous."

"She won't do anything dangerous. Obsessive and fangirly, yes. Dangerous, no. Unless you insult her OTP. Then you're dead. Oh and hey Vixx"

And that was the point when everyone realised that Vixx had been standing there the entire time with a stun gun.

"Oh shi-"

**A/N: And I think I'll stop it there, and a huge thank you to all my subscribers and reviewers, I love you all.**


	8. Chapter 8

An ordinary night at torchwood chapter 8

**A/N: So hello again, I'm back and I'll be uploading three chapters today, and then I'll be uploading the final chapter and a bonus chapter tomorrow. Wo just realised that I'm essentially a bus- you wait for one for months and then three come along in the space of an hour... ok maybe not quite like a bus but you get my point.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Torchwood I would buy NASA and go to school at Pigfarts (if you got that reference I love you).**

"Vixx, where the hell did you get a stun gun? And where's mine?" GG asked as the Torchwood crew performed what Vixx had only dreamed of and held up their hands in surrender.  
"Put your hands down, i'm not going to hurt any of you, this is just a safety precaution. Oh and GG, you don't have a stun gun because I don't trust you with a weapon"  
"Says you" GG muttered as she walked over to Vixx with gem and pheebs.  
"Right everyone, i have some information that will blow your mind, but first things first, i need some pizza"

"Ok, is everyone clear with the plan?" Ianto asked as they dramatically walked in slow motion out of the van. Pheebs stopped walking and looked at Ianto in confusion  
"We had a plan?"  
"Well not really, but we do have the back up plan."  
"Is that the plan where we run away if it goes wrong and let jack deal with it, because that is a terrible plan."  
"Also," Gem piqued in "how can you have a back up plan if you don't have an original plan to begin with?" ianto looked at all the girls who each wore a look of triumph on their faces  
"Stop learning stuff."  
"Have you lot stopped the bickering yet, we do have a job to do."  
"Sorry Jack" the girls and Ianto called back as they hurried to join the rest of the crew at the entrance of... The girls (except gem, she goes somewhere else) school.  
"Are you sure that they won't have noticed we've gone... Or that they won't realise thar you lot and gem don't attend this school?"  
"It'll be fine, just follow the plan." tosh said comfortingly.  
"But we don't have a plan, we're doing what GG does in every test she's ever done and winging it." (a/n: thats true by the way).  
"Just go in there and act natural" Jack said as they pushed them towards the building.  
"Well there'll be a first time for everything" Owen could just be heard in his sarcastic drawl before they were ungulfed in the noise of the only legal form of torture- school.

**A huge thank you to all my reviewers and subdcribers, love you all!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Just realised how short these two chapters are, but the next one is ridiculously long to make up for it. Also, if you find any mistakes please tell me because I don't have a Beta. Actually, if anyone is interested in being my beta, please pm me.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood, but I do own Jess and Vixx, my little miniature humans.**

"Is the rehypnol working?" Gem asked as the girls walked into the school. Vixx, GG and Pheebs all looked at her.

"Gem, why would we use rehypnol, thats the drug that knocks you out. We're using ret-con, but not until we've finished the job, so will you please act inconspicuous. That means act subtle" she added as she saw gem's confused face.  
"Come on guys, we really need to get going or we'll never get the job done and then those lot out there will end up dying." pheebs whispered as a group of year sevens walked past.  
"Well it won't really make that much of a difference for jack will it? But i see your point, lets get going." and with that the girls walked the stairs to their formroom, dragging gem with then.

"Hey Pheebs, hey Vixx, hey GG, hey Ge- wait Gem what the hell are you doing here?" GG and Pheebs' friend Ra (pronounced Ray) asked as she noticed Gem.  
"Shhhhh" the girls whispered/yelled at Ra as most of the rest of the form looked over at them before going back to their conversations.  
"We'll explain everything later, but right now we need your help, now get Jess and Liz, we have a job to do."

"Right Jack you know the plan, go cause the diversion now."  
"I know, and I'm on it."

"I can't believe we're doing this, I really can't believe doing this." Liz whispered over and over again as they skipped PSE (who really cares about it really) and snuck into the headmasters office.  
"GG, do you have the silly string."  
"I really don't see why we need the silly string, but here you go." GG whispered, handing Vixx the silly string. Vixx took the sily string and sprayed the entire room.  
"So much for being inconspicuous" Pheebs whispered to GG as the string covered the room, revealing the trip wires.  
"Ok, now I see the point of the silly string."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I have to say I do like this chapter, and it has one of my favourite pairings from Torchwood in it. Now this is the penultimate chapter and then there will be the final chapter and a bonus, and then I will be moving on to the sequel to this, but this time it will be an adventure involving just myself and Pheebs, and will not be Torchwood, though if you like Tyger Drew-Honey, Doctor Who or Skulduggery Pleasant, then you may enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: Yes I own Torchwood, because the BBC is run by a fourteen, almost fifteen year old girl.**

Meanwhile Rae was in a latin lesson (who would do that to themselves) looking up... Latin words or something. (a/n: yeah, what the hell do they do in Latin? I don't even rememberand it was only a few years since I took it) when the door slammed open and in walked Jack with his ridiculously perfect face flashing a cheeky grin.

"Hello everyone, what's going on in here then?" he asked cheerfully as he opened one of the textbooks, then fell to the floor in what looked like a faint to everyone else, but Rae could see that the blood had gone from his face, and then sure enough, a few seconds later, just as everyone started to panic, he woke up with a shocked look on his face.  
"You ok Jack?" Ianto asked as he entered the classroom.  
"Yeah I'm fine, I've died almost every way possible but now I can honestly say that I literally died of boredom" he said cheerfully as Ianto helped him up.  
"I'm sorry but who are you?" the shrill sounding, middle-aged teacher Shezza (**A/N:my nicname for her, and Shezza doesn't even teach Latin to year 10s, thats Dr H**) asked.  
"Right, I'm Jack, this is Ianto, and today we shall be doing a musical number for you" and with that Jack pulled a protesting Ianto into hin and began to do the cancan with him whilst singing I am what I am; the class were never the same after this. Whilst everyone was distracted Tosh and Owen walked into the front of the class to where the computer was situated.  
"Tosh hurry up, we don't have that much time before they turn up."  
"I know what I'm doing Owen, now shut up!"  
"I was just trying to help, you don't have to be such a drag all the time!"  
"I am NOT a drag!" by this point Tosh was practically yelling and Jack was forcing Ianto to start singing to block them out. Rae decided to help out. Leaving her seat she joined Tosh and Owen at the front of the class to hear the agument continuing.  
"You're always the same, looking down on me, would you just-" but what Tosh thought Owen should do was never discoverd as at that moment Rae decided to interupt her with what everyone was thinking.  
"Will you two just make out already, the sexual tension is killing me." and with that she pushed their heads together until their lips were brushing, then continued doing what Tosh should have been doing in the first place and actually getting up the teachers files. Looking over her shoulder to check if the class were still distracted she saw Tosh and Owen snogging like theyhould have done ages ago, and then returned to the job at hand.

Meanwhile in the office of silly string.  
"Right theirs only one way to do this, we need help!" GG whispered as Pheebs looked at the trip wires and whimpered.  
"Who from, I'll get them" Liz replied, noting how Vixx had gone very pale at the sight of the obviously dangerous wires.  
"Get me Roddy and Jess!"

Roddy arrived a few seconds later. Looking at the silly string and the wires she understood the situation perfectly. Jess (who is even smaller than Vixx; quite an achievement) also understood the situation.  
"No no no no no no no and no"  
"How do you know what we want you to do Jess? It could be somethibg nice and innocent and even fun, and you're turning that down before you even find out what it is, how ignorant of you!" Roddy replied  
"You want me to climb in between the wires don't you?"  
"Alright fine, this time you know what I wanted, but next time I'll probably want to give you a treat. Anyways, we need you to do this! At least I think we need you to do this, I'm not sure why"  
"Because otherwise the universe will implode, please Jess, pwetty please?" GG asked pulling a pouty face.  
"Fine, but if I die, you're telling my parents!" And so Jess started doing a balletic dance through the wires whilst GG, Pheebs and Liz followed in ninja style and Gem and Vixx followed looking like uncoordinated elephants. It wasn't an easy journey; at least twice GG found her arm very close to a wire, and Gem lost her balance more than once and almost blew the entire mission, but eventually, and none of the were ever quite sure how they managed it, they made it to Barty boys desk.

**A/N: Oh, if you didn't get that, Barty boy is my nickname for my headmaster. Another thank you to my reviewers and subscribers! I love you, and I will check out your stuff when I get the time.**


	11. Chapter 11

An ordinary night at Torchwood chapter 11

**a/n: so here it is, the final chapter. So Pheebs basically knows what is going to happen, but Vixx has no idea but she is finding it hilarious that there is basically no plot at the moment and this is the last chapter, so I better get on with the story.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Torchwood then Ianto, Tosh and Owen would not have died.**

"Finished" Rae called out as she got the file she wanted and sent it to GG's e-mail. Jack and Ianto stopped cancaning immediately and left the room, then returned to drag Tosh and Owen with them. Rae followed after them as well, ignoring the rest of her shell-shocked class.  
"Where now?" she asked as Jack led the way to a part of the school she had never been to before.  
"Now we find the headmaster before he does anything else."  
"I still don't understand, why is Torchwood getting involved with an, albeit insane, headmaster? It doesn't make any sense!"  
"You'll see soon enough, now we need to get going."

"Right GG, get to work on the computer, we'll search the drawers."  
"Fine Vixx, but I truly doubt he'll have kept a file named "my incriminating information" in ah unlocked oh-" GG was stopped in her speech when Vixx held up what she had just described.  
"well thats convenient." Jess said as Vixx opened the file and an alarm rang out, causing all the girls to yell out profanities that I will not repeat here. "What's going on here?" a stern voice called out- the girls turned around to see Miss Hatez, the woman that should have been their form tutor, but they had got Note-pad man instead (a/n: he lets us watch head nodding Gandalf to jazz). The old hawk faced woman reached up and undid a zip on her forehead, revealing a shock of green skin. Her skin fell off of her showing that she was really a green slimy-  
"You're a slytheen?" Vixx asked, preventing me from finishing my sentence (curse you Vixx!).  
"Well of course I'm a slytheen, what did you think we were, now please hold still whilst I devour you, that would be lovely." It was quite lucky that at that point that a blue box suddenly appeared out of nowhere.  
"Hello I'm the Doctor" a young man wearing a fez called out as he walked out of the box.

"Jack, why have you stopped?" Tosh asked as Ianto walked into the motionless Jack.  
"Something isn't right right now, but I'm not sure what it is-" That was when Barty Boy decided to jump out and try to devour them all (the funny thing was he still looked like a human).  
"Holy shi-" Owen whistled as he watched Jack karate kick out and hit the middle aged man in the stomach before his foot came rebounding back in a style similiar to bouncing on a trampoline. Ianto was not helping by running around like a headless chicken looking for anything that could help, and Tosh and Owen had started kissing again.  
"Well I guess its down to me to save the day... Again." Rae sighed as she did something both incredibly brave and incredibly stupid as she took a running jump and latched her arms around the headmaster whilst kicking her legs, somehow catching him between the legs. Barty boy paused for a second before crumpling to the floor moaning in agony.  
"I'm not sure why that hurt so much- I honestly didn't think he had any balls."

"But but but-"  
"What Pheebs is trying to say is 'but you're the Doctor, what the hell are you doing here in our school' is that right Pheebs?" GG asked as Pheebs continued stuttering. "I'll take that as a yes."  
"Right ok, the Torchwood guys I could understand, but a time traveling time lord I am just not getting!" Roddy said staring at the Doctor in disbelief.  
"Oh so you know about me then that'll save time. Normally I would wonder how you know this but right now there are more pressing matters, like why there is a dead slythereen under my sexy" the man in the fez said as he stumbled around the room like a baby giraffe walking for the first time. As he said the final sentence they all looked down at the remains of Hatez where only her feet could be seen covered in the ruby slippers- oh wait, wrong fandom, sorry.  
"Well, can I say she suits being dead or is it too soon?" Pheebs asked.  
"Nah, I'll allow it" Jess replied still looking at the TARDIS in awe.  
"Right ok, there was a reason I came here, and now I can't think what it was, do you lot know?"  
"Yes you-"  
"Shhhh, genius thinking here!"  
"But Doctor-"  
"Adadada, still thinking!"  
"DOCTOR YOU LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW!" Vixx screamed, finally getting over her fangirling.  
"Yes, what is it?" the Doctor asked impatiently.  
"It may have something to do with the slytheens running a school?"  
"Don't be silly, I'd remember something like tha- oh wait, you may be right."  
"Ya think?" Pheebs asked.  
"shhh, stop wasting time and help me stop the bad guys." the man called out as he moved towards the exit room, not bothering to avoid the trip wires. The girls were all a lot more careful, avoiding the wires as well as they could without looking like idiots, until the Doctor looked around wondering what was taking them so long.  
"You do realise that the wires are fake right? Look!" he said as he plunged his foot onto a wire. "They're just here to slow down intruders."  
"Oh, well that would explain how Gem and Vixx aren't burnt to a crisp right now." GG said taking the first stride straight through the now obviously hologram wires. Seeing that GG wasn't finely chopped up like some ham the others followed suit, Peebs and Liz taking longer than the others.  
"So how did you even know that their were slytheens here?and how do you know what slytheens are?" the Doctor asked as the moved past the many classrooms.  
"Well Jack and the others-"  
"Wait, are you talking about Jack Harkness? You know about ya tall, dark hair, a walking innuendo?" The girls all nodded "Oh brilliant, haven't seen him with this face yet, this will be fun."  
Pheebs leaned in to GG  
"Pass me the popcorn. This will be eventfull."

"Yes yes we get it, you two have finally realised your feelings for one anothe, but will you please stop with the kissing, we need to sort out this thing." Ianto said poking Barty Boy with his foot.  
"What is he actually? I mean, he still looks like a human." Rae asked, still looking at her headmaster.  
"Well quite a few aliens look like humans, that doesn't mean that they aren't extraterrestrial."  
"LIKE ME! Hello Jack, hows it going, haven't seen you in while, and this must be the Ianto that these lovely young ladies have filled me in about, and these must be- what is it with the humans and the kissing, honestly how do you breath!" The Doctor bounced towards them with the girls trying to keep up behind him.  
"Now what is this thing?" he asked looking down at the alien on the floor. Taking out his sonic screwdriver he waved it across him. Snapping the screen up he anced at it then looked down at him again.  
"Well what is he?"  
"A slytheen, what else would he be? Jack and the rest of you- will you stop kissing- take him back to the hub, and try not to kill him."  
"And what do we do now? We can't just go back to normal now!" Vixx said.  
"Well do you lot want to come for a ride?"

**a/n: So this is the day after my birthday, so I thought I'd upload this. Also, just the bonus chapter, then onto the next story! Watch out for it please**


	12. Bonus Chapter

**An ordinary night at Torchwood bonus chapter**

**a/n: Right, so this is a bonus chapter, you don't need to read it, but the next part of the series will make more sense if you do. Oh and the next part of the series is about Pheebs, myself and Skulduggery Pleasant, so go check that out as soon as I upload it, which should be the same time as this one.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood, or Doctor Who, however much I wish I did.**

"Hell yeah we want to go for a ride!" GG yelled as Vixx did her fangirl dance around the room and Pheebs did her outstanding goldfish impression.  
"Is she going to be ok?" the Doctor asked, pointing at Pheebs as she fell to the floor in a starfish manner.  
"Yeah, she'll get over it soon enough. Can we go now please?" Liz said as Rae, Jess, Roddy and GG attempted to enter the door. The Doctor looked at them like they were idiots, which compared to him I suppose they were.  
"I think you need this." he said holding out a key.  
"That may help a bit, yes." The Doctor passed the key to Vixx who slid it into the hole (a/n: did that sound wrong to anyone else? Just me? Ok) and opened the door.  
"Go on, say what they always say."  
"Where's the swimming pool?"  
"Yes, it is bigger on the- wait what?"  
"Where's the swimming pool? I want to go swimming when I travel through time and space." GG said as the others nodded.  
"Its in the library."  
"Yes, I know, but where is the library, this place is huge and oooo, is that a vortex maniplutor?"  
"No, thats my-"  
"Oh, is this a self-destruct button?"  
"No thats just a button-"  
"What does this do?"  
"No don't press that!" But it was too late; Vixx had pressed the button and now the TARDIS was preparing for take-off.  
"What did you _do_?"  
"I pressed the button, it looked like fun."  
"So you pressed it?"  
"Yes, honestly its just like something you would do, I don't know why your freaking out."  
"Where's Amy, Rory and River?"  
The Doctor suddenly looked sad.  
"Too soon GG, too soon!"  
"Sorry, but where's River?"  
"Who ever knows where River is."  
"Good point. Do you know where she is Doctor?"  
"No I do not, now can we please get to the door, I want to know where we are!"  
He opened the door to reveal... That they were in Narnia. Just kidding, they were actually on an awesome planet. They stayed there for a while before the Doctor almost ended up killing them because he found them too annoying (pot, meet kettle). Of course, that was the plan, until Vixx pressed a button and suddenly a puff of smoke descended upon them.  
"What the hell did you just do? I have been in this TARDIS for hundreds of years with more companions than I can think, and the TARDIS has never broken before!"  
"What can I say, I'm bad with computers."  
"Don't worry, I'm good with computers, I'll fix it!" GG said as she looked over the board looking over something that the Doctor couldn't see.  
"What are you doing?"  
"Checking tumblr, I said I'm good with computers, I didn't say I would fix it and do something useful!"  
"Can you please fix it and do something useful then please?"  
"Fine, I'll check my twitter."  
"NO! Never go on twitter it is my mortal enemy!"  
"Fine, you fix it then! I'll do it on my- guys my phone isn't working, I have no signal, how the hell will I survive with no phone?!"  
"Just give it here!" the Doctor said, sonicing her phone. "Better?"  
"Much, thank you, now fix the damn TARDIS, I want to go home and get a pizza."  
"You and your pizza GG."  
"What, I like pizza."  
"Can we move on from pizza please?"  
"I wish I could." GG replied.  
"Right come on, into the TARDIS you go."  
"But there's noxious gas in there."  
"At this point I don't care, just please be quiet, I have never wanted to gag someone so much in my life."  
"Well it was your own fault for inviting us here without getting to know us first." Vixx said.  
"I'm never doing that again, trust me."  
"Yay, we taught the Doctor something!" Rae said.  
"Shall we go home now then?"

It took them a while to get home- mainly because Vixx and GG somehow managed to destroy everything they touched. Eventually they reached the school again, the Doctor looking like he may cry.  
"Never let them near me ever again." he said to Jack as the girls left the school with smiles on their faces.  
"Why do I get the feeling that this won't be the last we see of them?" Jack asked as the Doctor entered the TARDIS.  
"Because I know they'll be causing trouble soon enough." and with that they left the school to go back to Cardiff, trying and failing to get that particular mission out of their heads.


End file.
